No Turning Back
by Gemini14
Summary: Ashram's darkest hour: the loss of the duel against King Kashue and the loss of the Scepter of Domination. Is there still something for Ashram to live for? If not for Lodoss' unity, then who? Or better yet, what?


No Turning Back

Kashue watches coldly as Ashram's eyes widen in pain. He'd just realized that he'd been run through. 

"_It hurts_……………….." Ashram thinks, turning his eyes back up to Kashue's face and glaring at him.

"Why…………….?" Ashram whispers, in disbelief, before he and Kashue back away from one another, and as he sinks to his knees. 

"How can this be…………..?" Ashram whispers, gritting his teeth as pain burned through his middle.

"_It can't be! It can't! It can't!!_" Ashram thinks, looking up when he hears Kashue's voice, telling him in an almost pleading tone that the madness must end. 

"Why can I not beat this man?!" Ashram asked, not really hearing Kashue. Ashram thinks about Beld's wishes, then a soft, reddish glow catches his eye. The Scepter of Domination was glowing in response to Shooting Star's death. Biting back his groans of pain, Ashram stands, the starts running, ignoring the lancing agony that assails his frame from both stab wound and broken bones. He hears outcries from his enemies and the young knight, Parn, tries to block his path and reason with him.

"Ashram! Have you forgotten your agreement?!" Parn shouts, his eyes blazing.

"I won't lose to the likes of you!" Ashram shouts, furiously, batting Parn away with a mighty blow. Ashram comes to a halt before the Scepter of Domination.

"With this………….with this I can finally……………" Ashram says, from between clenched teeth as he raises his sword and slices the crystal casing apart. With the force of his blow, Ashram's knees gave out, and he had to close his eyes for a few seconds to ward off the dizziness blood loss was beginning to bring. When he opened them again, he saw his prize: the Scepter of Domination. 

"_I will unite Lodoss!_" Ashram thought, ignoring the sickening pain as he moved to grasp the handle of the scepter. He stood abruptly when he heard a yell from behind him and turned to face whoever it was with sword in one hand and scepter in the other. There was the sound of metal against metal and the scepter went flying. Ashram, unaware the Parn stood next to him, watched in numb shock as the Scepter of Domination fell into the molten pit. His hopes shattered around him in that split second and the only thing he'd been fighting five years for was wrenched away from him forever. He faintly heard the SoulCrusher fall from his hand with a clatter, and barely felt himself moving forward. Where he was walking, he had no idea. One part of his mind screamed at him to turn back, he was heading for the lava pit. He didn't hear Parn scream his name, nor did he care. 

"_There is no turning back now. All that wasted time_…………….." Ashram thought, with despair settling in his stomach like a heavy stone.

"Emperor Beld…………please…………….forgive me……………." Ashram murmured, biting back tears of failure and disappointment, before falling forward. As he fell, he knew that death would come quickly, since he was falling headfirst into the molten rock. Closing his eyes, he waited for death to come; instead he felt a gut wrenching feeling pass through him and he landed hard on the stone floor of a tunnel.

"Sir Ashram……" a familiar voice said, sounding faint to Ashram's ringing ears.

"Go away………….let me die…………" Ashram murmured, before gasping in pain as the one who'd rescued him gently turned him over onto his back.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Sir Ashram. I promised Pirotess that I would keep a close eye on you." The voice said again.

"Groder………….? Is that you………………?" Ashram asked, grimacing as he opened his eyes and looked upon the weathered features of his only surviving warrior.

"Yes. It is I, Sir Ashram. Just lie still, while I see what I can do with these injuries." Groder said, as he unhooked part of Ashram's breastplate and got a good look at the stab wound. 

"Looks like I will have to get this armor off in order to tie off the bleeding. Damn Kashue's sword almost pushed all the way through!" Groder growled, as he got the wounded knight to sit up and assist in removing the heavy black armor. Ashram bit back cries of pain as Groder tied off the heavily bleeding wound, but remained still as the mage did what he could to help save his life. 

"Agh……………Groder, that………….hurts…………like…………HELL!!!!!!!!!!" Ashram groaned, his voice rising with every other word.

"I apologize, Sir Ashram." Groder said, simply, as he finished the bandaging and sat back, allowing Ashram some space to catch his breath. For about thirty minutes, Groder watched the Black Knight carefully. He was aware that the knight was suffering from his wounds, and also aware that whatever had been dulling the pain in the broken ribs was wearing off little by little as each moment passed. Ashram moaned in pain; the color draining from his face and sweat beading on his brow when he tried to move from his sitting position to one where he was leaning on the tunnel wall for support. 

"You shouldn't try to stand, Sir Ashram, you'll only make matters worse." Groder said, even though he knew the Black Knight wasn't listening to him as he stood unsteadily and started walking towards the exit. With a sigh of exasperation, Groder gathered the removed pieces of black armor and followed Ashram out of the volcano. He caught up with the Black Knight outside where they had left the horses. He was leaning on one horse for support, so he could catch his breath and steady himself before mounting. 

"Sir Ashram, this really isn't a good idea…….." Groder said, but then stopped when Ashram gave him a look that could have frozen Fire Dragon Mountain's innards into solid ice. With reluctance, Groder helped him get his armor back on and held the horse as he mounted. 

"_This stubborn streak in him could very well be the death of him!_" Groder thought, as he mounted his own horse and the two of them started on their way. With fortitude that Groder only could have assumed had been determination to get back to where they had both left Pirotess days before, Ashram rode non-stop, his pain hidden by the look of fierce determination. The end of his strength finally came to the town where Pirotess waited. When he got outside of the inn where she was staying, he uttered her name under his breath and toppled from his horse, into the arms of some of his subordinates, those of whom were very startled and shaken about the entire event. As Ashram faded from consciousness, he heard Pirotess' concern-filled voice above all of the rest, demanding a healer, and telling him to not die. With a somewhat choked gasp, Ashram lapsed into unconsciousness, almost as soon as the healer got there.

Pirotess looked worriedly at the pale man who lay in the bed next to where she sat. Sure, he'd always been pale, but he was paler than usual.

"_He'd lost so much blood before he'd gotten back here. But why didn't he just wait for his wounds_………………?" Pirotess thought, before a soft moan came from the man in the bed.

"Lord Ashram?" Pirotess asked, gently, as she turned a worried gaze onto the wounded man.

"Pirotess………………" Ashram whispered, as he opened his eyes an gazed at her, his eyes still glazed with pain and fever.

"Yes. I am here. I will never leave your side. I promise." Pirotess said, as she gently brushed a strand of jet black hair from his pallid face. As though comforted by that, Ashram drifted back into slumber. 

"_You are impossible, Lord Ashram. Even after all this time, I still don't understand everything there is to know about you._" Pirotess thought, with a rueful smile, as she took the Black Knight's hand in hers and laid her head next to his, falling asleep almost instantly. When Ashram next awoke, he found Pirotess sleeping there, with one of his hands in hers'.

"_Do I really have no other thing to fight for? Why couldn't I fight for her? For Pirotess? Forget it, Black Knight! You don't have any true feelings for her! Or do you?_" Ashram wondered, as he painfully scooted over and pulled Pirotess into the bed, so that her body rested next to his and her head rested on his chest. With a sigh, he pulled the blanket over them both and went back to sleep. Groder, who had watched the whole thing from the bedroom door, merely shook his head and walked off, closing the door gently behind him as he went. Coming awake for a moment, Pirotess was bewildered for a split second, the realized that she was next to her beloved Black Knight.

"_You rascal!_" Pirotess thought, with an amused smile, then put her head back on the Black Knight's strong chest and allowed the sound of his heartbeat to lull her back to sleep. It was the most contented night's sleep either of them had ever experienced.

~Owari~


End file.
